you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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