why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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