I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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