So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
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