He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
