whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize