Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
