I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
