Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
