I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
love makes seman taste better
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
