you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
These tits shall not be calmed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
