K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
