I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize