Who did Billy Mays play for?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
