She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize