she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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