HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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