Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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