we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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