The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
