No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
