1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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