please come you make the beer taste better
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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