he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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