She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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