East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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