I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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