THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
