ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize