Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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