it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
