she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
