so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
