hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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