My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
