So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
