when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I got inside last night via doggy door
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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