I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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