Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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