I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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