He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
