Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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