Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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