yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
