Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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