You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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