she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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