I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
