I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize