Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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