She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
