I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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