I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize