And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
