A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i believe in u and ur pee
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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