he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
