Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
