Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
