i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
