just tell him i said nine months
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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