I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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