I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She's the barista slut.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
