I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
