I'm laying in your front yard are you home
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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