It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
