y did u give ur computer a hand job?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
