The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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