My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
