Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize